H.R. Giger

I mean that in an entirely complimentary way, of course. Who doesn’t want a town that smells like cheese?

This past weekend I was lucky enough to visit the town and neighboring area of Gruyeres with my dad. I would highly recommend it – with some caveats. We went as part of a tour group on a bus; I get the impression that going independently would be doable, but would definitely require some extra logistical work. Also, though the town of Gruyeres is absolutely gorgeous, it’s teeny-tiny – there’s literally one road. If you come for lunch or some hiking you could make several hours of it, but for a full day I would recommend adding on a tour of the Callier chocolate factory or a nearby cheese-making farm. For those who are equating a Callier tour with Hershey Park, let me point out two key differences: 1) Callier is not geared towards 5-year-olds, focusing more on the history of chocolate and the chocolate production line, from cocoa fruit to final product and 2) unlimited samples.

Much love to Hershey Park. ‘Merica and all. But UNLIMITED SAMPLES.

While in Gruyeres, it’s assumed that you’ll try fondue. Don’t even think about ordering something other than fondue for lunch. This is one tourist fascination that lives up to the hype – plus it’s something that actual Swiss people do as well.

Apparently, fondue originated back on the farm. While women would cook meals during the week, on Saturdays the man of the family would graciously take over, and in the true lazy-but-ingenious style that only men can pull off, would boil some white wine, add garlic, and then dump in all the leftover cheese of the week. Served with slightly stale bread and meats, you get fondue. Today, fondue is typically reserved for special occasions and eaten predominantly during the winter. Aka you’ll get funny looks for ordering fondue in the summer, but DO IT ANYWAY.

In Gruyeres, the typical fondue is called half and half – as in, half Gruyeres cheese and half Vacheron cheese. As good as you already think melted cheese is, this is even better. For dessert we were given an amazing concoction – meringue and double-cream, a Gruyeres specialty. Expecting something more along the lines of the more widely-known Chantilly creme, I was surprised to find the double cream to be not at all sweet – it more like a very light, unflavored yogurt. That doesn’t sound too appetizing, but it actually paired very well with the ridiculous sweetness of the meringue cookie, which if you don’t know is about 95% pure sugar.

There are two very strange things about Gruyeres that I should mention now. Inexplicably, it is the home of the H.R. Giger Museum and the Tibet Museum. At the Tibet Museum you’ll find one of the largest collections of Buddhas in Europe. At the Giger museum, you’ll find…aliens. Of the Alien variety.

And they’re right next to each other. In a rural medieval Swiss village.

It’s like there’s absinthe in the town water fountain.

But anyway.

The town of Gruyeres is pleasant to explore – though again, teeny-tiny. Climb up to the castle (because every town in Switzerland seems to have its own castle), explore the terraces, and pretend you’re a princess. Moo at some cows. Laugh at some tourists. Eat some more cheese. See how many children cry when they see the Alien sculpture outside the Giger museum. Grab an artisan gelato and take some time to stare out at the mountains, pinching yourself as you try to remember that places this beautiful actually do exist.